The beginning of a new decade seems a propitious time to “self-improve.” A personal goal of mine is to bring joy to the world. Even those of us who strive for this lofty goal can always get better at it. Here are my thoughts on how to not only survive 2020, but to enjoy the year and prosper.
My first suggestion is the simplest to understand and the easiest habit to adopt.
One of the many advantages of not cooking is that I am in restaurants all the time, 99% of the time alone. This gives me time to observe people and meditate on what I see. I have watched the waitstaff, young and old, male and female. And customers. Some people never smile. Some always do. I wondered, why is that? Their parents? Just shy? Happy or not happy?
I have read a thousand times that getting a college degree will double or triple your lifetime income. I don’t believe it. There are too many college dropouts – Michael Dell, Bill Gates, John Mackey of Whole Foods Market, Steve Jobs – who seem to have done okay for themselves financially. People who go to college are driven and ambitious, people who set high goals for themselves. Those are the people who do well in life, whether they learn in the classroom or in the library or bookstore. Ultimately, we are all ”self-educated.”
But I do believe there is one way to double or triple your lifetime income. And it is so simple, a matter of habit. That is to smile. Not a fake smile or a smile that never quits. But a warm, authentic smile, especially upon greeting people, be they old friends or strangers. Nothing will make others more open to your ideas. Nothing will make others more likely to listen to you, to like you. Nothing will make you more beautiful.
Second, and not far removed from smiling, is having a sense of humor and laughing. It has been said that it is hard to dislike someone who makes you laugh. The more we laugh, the stronger our hearts become. Even if you are not endowed with a natural sense of humor, it is never hard to find something to laugh about. If nothing else, laugh at yourself. Self-deprecation is a sure winner.
Third, spread joy at every opportunity. When was the last time you told a waiter or waitress how great they were? When was the last time you complimented an excellent retail clerk? I have found that telling strangers how cool their car is always lifts their day. (I only do that if I really like their car.) It does not take much effort to find opportunities to compliment others, their possessions, and their actions. Those who do will stand out from the crowd and be remembered.
Fourth, seek out the positive. I have been a news junkie since I was a little boy. But the news fills up with disasters and bad news. We read of airplane crashes, but it’s rarely mentioned that the global airline system is the safest it has ever been. We read of the violence in Mexico, but my frequent visits to that beautiful nation inform me that most of Mexico is safe and increasingly prosperous. Finding and celebrating good news often takes extra effort.
Politically, many on “both sides of the aisle” think the world is “going to hell in a handbasket.” Yet never in my life have we had so few wars and soldiers dying abroad. And rarely have we had so many jobs created at the same time that wages are growing, especially for the lower wage levels, as recently reported by government statisticians. Taken together, we enter 2020 in an era of peace and prosperity. Yet you’d never know that from watching the news. Cable television seeks ratings by broadcasting screaming arguments – there is no place for the calm, the moderate, the happy.
I have observed people for almost seventy years. I am convinced that optimism is a critical requirement for a happy, successful life. And optimism is contagious, lighting up the lives of those around us.
Ultimately, a life well-lived depends less on how many possessions and accolades we have than on how much we give to others. Americans have a great tradition of charity, of helping the less fortunate. But how do you treat the people around you? The people you meet every day, even strangers on the street or in the café?
Smiling, laughing, complimenting, and being positive cost us nothing. They are 100% profit. And if we work at them, maybe we can all touch the lives of others and leave this world a better place than we found it.
Gary Hoover
